Thursday, June 23, 2005

How Would They Vote?

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith is supposed to be anti-Bush. Conservatives claim Batman Begins. In keeping what that, here is how I think various comic book heroes vote:

Superman: He stands for Truth, Justice, and the Status Quo. He might topple a foreign government if the UN asked but never otherwise. He did special missions for President Kennedy. His arch-enemy is a rich industrialist. A Kerry internationalist.

Batman: He believes in righteous vengeance. He is not above bending the rules a bit. A neo-conservative.

Wonder Woman: She isn't a citizen so she can't vote for president, except for president of the NOW.

Green Arrow (Oliver Queen): Nader Green (also known as a watermelon - green on the outside and red on the inside).

Green Lantern/Specter II (Hal Jordan): Conservative but more liberal than people give him credit for. Nixon Republican

Nightwing (Dick Grayson): Kerry Democrat (just to piss-off Batman)

The Fantastic Four:
Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic): When government red tape stopped him from launching a privately financed space craft, he launched anyway. A Reagan Republican

Sue Richards (Invisible Woman), Johnny Storm (the Torch): New York City celebrities - they must vote Democrat.

Ben Grimm (the Thing): Same as above but also Jewish.

Spiderman: Never got around to registering.

Daredevil: A lot like Batman except poor. A neo-conservative interventionist.

The Avengers:
Thor: Back when he was Don Blake he was probably Republican. He had no problems with the imperial presidency. Now that he is Thor full-time he is not a citizen.

Iron Man (Tony Stark): When he was first introduced he was a munitions maker in the war against communism. He even supplied weapons for the troops in Viet Nam. Later it was pointed out that this made him a Pig since he made money from war. As time went by he changed. He started chasing hippy chicks in a pathetic attempt at validation. After the war, he embraced the role of international party boy with a few time-outs for substance abuse. Now he does non-weapons consulting. All of this makes him an Arianna Huffington liberal.

Captain America: He started as a Roosevelt Democrat but the party changed a lot since then. Make him a Zel Miller Democrat who votes Republican.

Hulk (Bruce Banner): He designed bigger, better nukes for the military. Nixon Republican.

Henry Pym (Ant Man, Giant Man, Goliath, etc.): One vote for each candidate (Hank is a very confused man).

Wasp (Janet Van Dyne/Pym): Republican.

Black Widow (Natasha Romanov): A refugee from Communist Russia. She was personally threatened by the evil empire. Reagan Republican.

Cyclops (Scott Summers): Reagan Republican (A Cyclops solo limited series started with Scott quoting Reagan and disagreeing with the quote saying, "I never could stand the man." That is what got me thinking about this in the first place. Cyclops is at the top of my list for superheroes who vote Republican.)

Professor X: A mutant Dr. Martin Luther King in a wheelchair. A Kennedy Democrat.

Angel (Warren Worthington III): Really, really rich. A no-inheritance-tax Republican.

Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler: foreign nationals. They cannot vote.

Iceman: Democrat (but only because his parents are Republican)

Beast: Gulianni Republican.

Related link - Meryl Yourish rates superheroes for dating.

1 comment:

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